We hate your blog.

We hate Chris March’s Project Runway Blog, and we hate Episode 12: Price vs. Cost.

1. WE HATE being confused. To explain the title of your post, you write about the likelihood that discounted ice cream will lead to obesity if you eat it every single day.

Um. Your blog is about a fashion reality show. Ice cream has nothing to do with fashion.

That's a leopard print shirt, boys and girls.

Because our hatred has been getting a lot of hatred recently, we are going to try to help with this one. We’re going to try to bring an editing eye to your blog. How about this?

Discounted heroin will lead to a size zero if you use it once a week, but will sink your cheeks if you use it every day.

2. WE HATE being bored. Your post seemed a bit uninspired. We think you were a bit literal-minded. We didn’t see your point of view coming through in this post. As you know, in blogging, one post you’re in and one post you’re hated.

3. WE HATE that we watched Lifetime. We are not at all comfortable about this. The cable landscape is shifting out from under us. We used to know ourselves by what the networks told us about ourselves.

Old Knowledge of Self via Network Viewing

New Knowledge of Self via Network Viewing

4. WE HATE to see you so sad, Chris. You wrote that you were leaving your “sarcastic, funny, snarky shoes under the bed” for this post. You were sad because your designer was voted off the show. Get over it, honey, and put your shoes back on. Those are the only shoes we’ve ever seen you in.

Look, you’ve been on reality TV. That means you’re a known commodity and not a person, and commodities don’t sulk and post a half-hearted blog at a quarter to five in the morning.

You gotta give, baby! Give, give, give!

5. WE HATE that there is more crying in Project Runway than in Sophie’s Choice.

One of the designers, seen here crying because, oh, we don't know, and it doesn't matter. Do you even care why this blubbering mess cried? We just need to feed off his over-emoting.