We hate your blog.

We hate Gawker and we hate the post Sasstasstic Amy Sacco Shoots Shuttering Rumors Down: Bungalo 8’s Coming Back.

1. WE HATE that the pointlessly alliterative title is equally as pointless as the actual post. Twenty New Yorkers care about this. And they don’t care that much.

Where will these adequately dressed and moderately attractive people stand around and look bored if Bungalo 8 closes?! Won't somebody think of the adequately dressed and moderately attractive people?!

2. WE HATE your self-description:

“Gossip from Manhattan and the Beltway to Hollywood and the Valley”

Really? You’re covering everything from Manhattan to the Valley? Because we think a new night club opened up in Des Moines last week. Where was the coverage, Gawker? People got dressed up. There was a limousine and some college athletes. You missed the boat.

3. WE HATE that on the same page as such craptilicious (sorry, but if sasstassic is a word, then so is craptilicious) news about night clubs in New York, you post a story about a New York Times reporter who escaped the Taliban. You either report crap-for-news, Gawker, or you report stuff we could care about. You don’t do both. They cancel each other out and what you’re left with is a big Gawker-shaped hole on the internet for people to fall into and die.

4. WE HATE your sister-site, Gawker Stalker. You do realize that this is actual stalking, right?

We saw Garrison Keillor yesterday at the Saint Paul Farmer's Market fingering a ripe cantaloupe. So what?

Dear Gawker Stalker reader, when you arrive at Park Ave. & E 68th St., what you will see is a real human being named Adrian Grenier; not a photo or cardboard cut-out of him. He might wonder how you found him. Then it might get a little awkward and you might have to drug him and take him back to your place. And then what? What do you do with an Adrian Grenier? I mean, you can’t let him go now, right? So … just … stop reading Gawker Stalker and everything should be cool. Okay?

5. WE HATE that you think anyone cares about this woman:

Look! It's the sister of someone who acts on MTV!

Also, maybe this is why you’re called Gawker, we don’t know – but when we click on that photo, her head takes up our whole screen and then we scroll down and view every detail of her clothes and skin and cigarette. It’s just creepy. Look:

We mean, come on.