We hate your blog.

We hate Michael Ian Black and we hate the post Mad Pimpin.’

1. We hate that you’re a little depressed with your career right now, Michael. Here’s why. We didn’t hate “Stella.” We didn’t hate “Michael and Michael Have Issues.” And, we most certainly didn’t hate the new Klondike Bar commercials. You’re on a good run, probably a better run than Sarah Silverman and, to boot, you’re not forced to watch Jimmy Kimmel every night. You’re on a way better run than David Cross who – let’s be frank, here – outthought his own career. And, you’re doing way, way, way better than Jeff Dunham. He got his own show, sure, but he still has to look himself in the mirror and admit that he stuffs his hand up a puppet’s ass for a laugh.

Does Dane Cook have his own children's book? He could knit a sweater a night with all of the co-ed wool thrown at him after a show, but can he tuck his kids in at night with his own children's book?

2. We hate that you admit that you don’t know what you’re doing:

The other thing is a vague unease with my entire career. I can define the unease like this: ‘I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.’

If you don’t know what you’re doing, then you tacitly admit that VH1 didn’t know what it was doing by having you in all those “I Love the (insert decade here)’s” episodes and, without without this important television, we wouldn’t know what childhood nostalgia to remember. When shopping online for the hippest message tees or watching “Family Guy,” this knowledge is vital.

3. We hated Levar Burton during “LeWar,” but we must admit that we began following both of you at that time. This was during our Twitter honeymoon when we added everyone whose name we recognized. We are now at the seven-year itch stage with Twitter and peruse Twitter divorce lawyers while at work.

Blow away, sir.

4. We hate Hollywood, too. We think Hollywood is responsible for Sarah Palin’s career. We’re not sure how, but it likely involves the Illuminati, orbital mind control lasers and some faceless studio exec with an idea he stole from someone intelligent during the writer’s strike.

Those Philistines didn't deserve a second season, Michael.

5. We hate seeing you like this. And yet, we can’t help but note that we have no such problems with our career and this is probably because we are calm, level-headed goyum, just like that protestant Craig Ferguson. Look how far Christianity got him. Not too shabby!