We hate your blog.

We hate Notes From a Hack, and we hate the post “Only in L.A.”

1. WE HATE Los Angeles. The people who live there, the “writers” trying to “live” their “dreams,” which clearly includes you. Mostly we hate the unbridled solipsism, the plasticity of your culture, and the vapid, shallow drivel that comes out of your mouth. And by “your” we mean you, Los Angeles. Note to a hack: people work out in other parts of the country, too, sometimes even maniacally.

Look! A woman falling down! Only in L.A.! We love it!

2. WE HATE that so many of your posts read like desperate attempts to sell a script. “And look, Mr. Bigwig Executive, each of my posts could spin into an episode! I’m telling you, it’s viral!” No, the swine flu is viral, you’re just pathetic.

3. WE HATE that you call yourself a hack. That’s an insult to actual hacks.

4. WE HATE your name dropping. (We include all the shows you “almost” got to write for.) It occurs all over the place. Your brushes with greatness, or at least with mediocrity. Not one of those people would admit to knowing you. This particular post was merely a vehicle to let people know you have an iPhone.

5. WE HATE your dedication. Of course, if you had an actual job writing in Hollywood, you wouldn’t have the time to post a new blog every second or third day for the last four years. So go back to Supercuts, then home to your tiny apartment in Westchester, pour a glass of your favorite box wine, hang out in your Snuggie, and tell yourself, “The next post will get me noticed. No, the next post. No, the one after that…” If we thought you actually worked in Hollywood, we’d blame you for all the not-funny we see on T.V., which he hate.

"This is what writer's do, right? Am I doing this right?" No. Aaron Sorkin does not wear a Snuggie.