We hate WoW: The New WoW Insider.
1. WE HATE seeing people fritter away their time on pointless activities and World of Warcraft is the most pointless, even more so than humor blog writing. More time has been wasted playing World of Warcraft than at any other activity in the history of mankind. Historically, World of Warcraft has been an even bigger time sink than philosophy. Philosophy! They just sit around, get drunk and stroke their beards–and it’s still a more productive activity than World of Warcraft. My suggestion for you is to do what your parents did: get a job, sir!
2. WE HATE, and are mighty intolerant of at this point, games themed around warriors, gnomes, elves, “Lich Kings,” swords, horses, axes, and so on. There are other themes out there, folks. Space is a good one, even if it’s pretty common. What about the old West? What about a Philip K. Dick techno future? Nope. Not for World of Warcraftians and our WoW friends here. They’ll slay dragons for eternity and “Monty Python’s Holy Grail” will just keep staying funny.

Oh no! You'll have do something else, like read a blog about World of Warcraft!
3. WE HATE gibberish. What the hell is this?
The story here is all about sweet, sweet ego: Aliana had a sense of entitlement while raiding — she was angry that items she would really like to have were going to someone who could only do 4k as opposed to her 9k, thanks to a lousy so-called fair DKP system. We’d like to think Grator is a true Guildwatch fan: we just sit back, listen in, and make a delicious potion “out the QQ.”
We’ve seen more cogent copy in tax legislation. Seriously, what’s happening here? Is this all secret code for a place that gives “massages”?
And what the hell is this?

Is this an axe head from a Fel Orc or a mouse? Jeez.
4. WE HATE judgmental pricks unless we’re the pricks doing the judging. Check this guy out. One World of Warcrafter makes a movie out of World of Warcraft characters, something called “machinima.” We could hate on this ambitious concept for days, but (to quote Penn Jillette) then there’s this asshole, a commenter on the movie:
[...] This movie is just dull … The humor in this movie just didn’t work; All those jokes was just recycled garbage … That’s a dull opening, it doesn’t really say anything special [...]
Here’s something you didn’t learn in your locksmith classes at Highway 102 Technical College: tact. If you’re gonna talk like you’re the next Marty Scorcese then shut yer mouth, act like Marty Scorcese and do one yourself. We’re sick of people shooting off their mouths when they don’t know what the hell is going on.
And, hey, Marty! You reading this? Call me back about the thing with you-know-who!
5. WE HATE to revive these memories, but we were once like you, WoW. The watershed moment? It’s Christmas, 1991. Our sister takes us to the mall and says “what would you like for a present?” We say that we would like a Nintendo game. “Well, which one?” We say, either Tecmo Super Bowl or Final Fantasy. “I’ll surprise you with one of the two.” And? She got us Final Fantasy. We did not see the outside world for the next calendar year aside from school, where we were pushed around by jocks who pushed us around because we didn’t have a favorite team in Tecmo Super Bowl. But we kept on and played every Final Fantasy up until X. You know what we got out of living a life of virtual adventure? Chronic Nintendo thumb and a degree in Locksmith Technology from Highway 102 Technical College.
It’s not too late, WoWers! Save yourselves! Go outside! Drink wine, eat baguettes out of baskets, and make love on blankets in parks full of cherry blossoms!